That's How Nature Works

(Talking about types if fish)

Person 1: "Wait, didn't that fish used to be extinct?"

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+5 for how can something "used to be" extinct?

'Tis the Season

Person 1: I got a new collapsible Christmas tree!

Person 2: Cool! Is it real?

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+3 because what kind of crazy GMO tree would be collapsible.

So close.

(As I'm studying, two people sit at the table next to me to work on a final project)

Student 1: What's a social media? What does that mean?

Student 2: I have no idea.

Student 1: I bet my friend Robin would know. Hold on, let me see if she's on Facebook and I'll ask her.

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+7 for being so close to their answer
+2 because I really want to know how this project turns out
Total: 9

But it's raw!

(My girlfriend and I just bought some fruit at a fruit stand and are now continuing to drive.)

Me: Hand me a pear out of that bag.

Her: Uh, why?

Me: Because I want to eat it.

Her: What?

Me: A pear. To eat.

Her: But...but it's raw. 

Me: It's a pear.

Her: You can only eat pears out of cans!

Me: It's fruit.

Her: But pears come in cans! You don't eat them raw.

Me: It's just a pear....you can eat pears.

Her: You can just eat pears?

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+4 for not knowing you can eat fresh fruit
+6 because what childhood leads to not knowing you can eat fresh fruit?
Total: 10

International Relations

(In history class talking about the development of OPEC and how they cut off oil to the US)

Student: But wait, how is that different from a Super PAC?

Teacher: "....one is a political action committee and one is...OPEC."

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+5 for them being so different it's almost impossible to answer

But what if?

(Professor is explaining the college's consequences for plagiarism a day before our first paper is due)

Student: So, what if we just happen to think of the exact same ideas as someone else and put it in the exact same words without realizing it?

Professor: I really doubt that would happen, especially for an assignment like this where you're going to be referencing authors for every point you make or attack.

Student: But what if...like...what if something I say happens to look exactly like something on Wikipedia, for example?

Professor: You're not going to have the same word-for-word ideas for this paper as someone put on Wikipedia.

Student: Okay. But, what about...what if I wrote something, and then uploaded it to Wikipedia, but  when you checked it you didn't know I put it there so you thought I stole it?

Professor: Did you do that?

Student: I mean, no, but what if?

Professor: Just don't do that.

Student: But I mean, you couldn't know if I wrote it or not...so it could be my work?

Professor: Do we need to have a conversation?

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+3 because if you're going to plagiarize from Wikipedia, at least try not to draw attention to it. You're not being smooth.

I've always been curious...

(In the school cafeteria, I am eating next to a few people I don't know. I'm black.)

Random guy: Excuse me? I've always been curious. Why does black people hair grow like that?

(The girl sitting across from me looks at him and replies for me.)

Random girl: Why does white people hair grow like that?

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+2 for putting thought into forming this question but then still asking it
+6 for that response.
+1 because oh my god Karen, you can't just ask people why their hair is black.
Total: 9